Mums who have children with eczema, this is for you.
I work with lots of children of all ages who are dealing with eczema, this means I speak to a lot of mums. It’s important I observe the child and speak to them if they are of an age where they are talking; however much of the appointment is spent speaking with mum. Here are some of the things I see and hear when I speak with you.
- You are always educating yourself about eczema and finding ways to help you child, but this can feel totally overwhelming – there is SO MUCH information out there.
- You don’t sleep well as you are up late researching ways to help your child, and your child is awake itching.
- You have other children who need your time and attention and you feel guilty for not being there for them.
- You are feeling LOTS of different emotions (good AND not so good) about the situation you find yourself in which you feel so guilty about this.
- You don’t have time for personal relationships; so much of your time is taken up caring for your child with eczema. It’s all you can think about. You feel so guilty about neglecting other members of your family.
- You know you need to spend time focusing on your own health. You understand if you are not well, how can everyone else be? But you just don’t have time. You tell me “When my child is a little bit better, I can focus on me.”
- You find you are staying at home more as going out can feel like a mammoth task. All the prep work, ensuring everyone has creams, lotions, meds, the right snacks due to food allergies. Then you worry if your child has an itching episode and they want to come home. Sometimes, it’s just not worth it, so you stay home.
- You tell me you spend so much time thinking about what could trigger your child’s eczema flare you live in constant panic mode as you just don’t know what will set of a flare.
- You’ve tried ALL kinds of creams, lotions, medications and NOTHING seems to work. It’s so confusing and you just don’t know what to try next. You feel overwhelmed and just want to give up.
- You tell me “It’s all down to me. I have to keep going, as no one else can help.” You feel isolated and alone, you are not sure who to turn too for help and support.
- You can’t face any more questions from people when you are out and about asking them what is wrong with your child. The way some people look at your child can lead to you feeling shame, anger, sadness, frustration.
- You are exhausted.
Does any of this sound familiar?
If your child is dealing with eczema, you may be feeling some or all of these things ALL at the same time. It’s exhausting, challenging, and overwhelming.
Time and again I speak with women who are experiencing such a range of emotions from sadness and depression, to anger and frustration and the crushing guilt that often follows. As parents, we are responsible for the health and wellbeing of our children so when they are dealing with a chronic illness it becomes our No 1 mission to make them better. The toll this takes on our own health is simply something that comes with the territory.
Over time the impact of this starts to make its presence felt. The lack of sleep, living in constant alert mode (Will they have a flare? Is this food ok? What triggered the flare?) and the steady flow of the stress hormone cortisol starts to impact our health and well-being in small, then increasingly bigger ways.
If you are tired all the time, you may reach for stimulants to keep you going such as coffee. You may start to deal with more colds, coughs, and acute illnesses. You can’t relax in an evening so you become more moody or tearful. You are less able to deal with day-to-day life, small stresses become big stresses which you can’t cope with. Your hormonal cycle make become affected and your periods start to become erratic. Your digestion starts to change and you may have difficulty digesting food or you start to have difficult bowel movements.
One symptom may happen and you don’t notice it, then another, and another until its one too many things to deal with. But you keep going as your focus is helping your child get better.
Mums, you need support too.
There are lots of small changes you can make at home which can give you a moment to breathe and regroup.
Breathe. Can you focus on your breathing, even for a few moments? Perhaps when the kettle is boiling ? or when you are running a bath? Slowing your breath down even for a few moments can help to reduce stress levels immediately. Find out more about how breath work can help stress and anxiety HERE
If you have a little longer time, are you able to take sometime out? A short walk around the park or your local area.
Connect with other women who are dealing with eczema in their family. You are not alone and other people do understand what you are going through.
Personalised care focusing on your individual needs.
We are all different and deal with things in our own way so reaching out for individualized help is going to address what is going on for you at any moment. Talk therapy such as counselling can help, along with:
Constitutional homeopathic treatment supports ALL of you – emotionally and physically. Remedies support you as you navigate your way through your life. Remedies such as Sepia, Arsenicum Album, Rose Quartz, Nux Vomica, Aurum can help to move you from a state of imbalance to feeling more like yourself again and be better equipped to cope with day-to-day life. You can read more about how homeopathy can help you HERE.
EFT – emotional freedom technique or Tapping is a powerful tool to address emotional blocks whilst tapping on acupressure points to release held emotions.
Flower Essences are a gentle way to support your emotional well-being. Bach Flower essences such as Gorse, Impatience, Olive and Oak can be of help.
You can treat yourself at home with these therapies. Sometimes its helpful to have support here. You do all the helping and supporting for your family, maybe its time someone helped you? As a homeopath I can look at the big picture and see how you navigate your life and piece together how your current situation maybe impacting your health and wellbeing. Sometimes it’s hard to see the big picture when you are immersed in the day to day of family life.
Helping mum get back on track.
Laura is a mum to a young family with a child dealing with eczema. She felt ignored by her family doctor, who brushed off her concerns about her child’s health and when she sought out help for her own health, she was offered anti-depressants which she really didn’t want to talk.
During her appointment with me she talked about her feelings around her child’s condition and the impact it was having on her own health and the rest of her family.
Towards the end of the appointment, she said to me “Thank you for listening Rachael, thank you for not judging me, thank you for giving me the space to get this off my chest. I feel better already.”
Laura didn’t need anti-depressants, she needed time and space to be heard, to know she isn’t “going mad” or “making a fuss over nothing” (yes, women have been told this by health professionals).
With the support of homeopathic remedies Laura is doing great.
Her life situation hasn’t changed dramatically, but she feels more like herself again and is coping with the ups and downs of life with less stress and less emotional intensity. Her little one ‘s eczema is healing beautifully (with the help of homeopathy) and Laura can see light at the end of the tunnel. It was always there, we sometimes we lose sight of it, homeopathic support can light the torch within.
